You know it is summer in Ireland when the rain gets warmer.

My wife converted me to religion. I never believed in hell until I married her.

Dolphins : Animals that are so intelligent that, within a few weeks of captivity, they can train a man to stand on the edge of their pool and throw them food three times a day.

The likelihood of getting lost is directly proportional to the number of times the direction-giver says, 'You can't miss it'.

You can't make people laugh for more than half an hour and be consistent.

The greatest comedies that were made by anybody were made in two reels; I don't care who it was.

Harold Lloyd was not a comedian. But he was the finest actor to play a comedian that I ever saw.

The important thing, once you get 'em laughing, is to keep 'em laughing until you're through. With a 90-minute feature, you've got to stop the laughter and then pick it up again, which is tough.